They say a woman’s heart is as pure as her home, and I’d have to agree with that. I’m a stay at home mom who goes to great lengths to keep her house tidy and trim, but my pride and joy is my beautiful garden, a 3 acre plot of exotic plants that simulates 4 different biomes and was even featured on the cover of Southwest Family Home and Garden magazine. But I’m more than just a housewife with a garden – I also teach the occasional lesson in emotional intelligence.
Now of course I can’t maintain such a large garden by myself, so to help me I’ve hired a gardener who we’ll call Javier (I can’t remember his actual name but it’s probably something like Pedro or Alberto if it’s not Javier). Once a month I ask him to trim the plants along the miniature Great Lakes section, which he hates doing since he has to wear big rubber boots while in the pond. Between you and me, I don’t know how Javier or his family arrived to this country but I know it can’t be by boat. The poor guy looks seasick standing in a small pond that doesn’t even have any waves.
But besides having to stand in the water, Javier also hates trimming these plants since he has to spend a couple extra hours at my property instead of zipping off to the next estate to mow their lawn for the umpteenth time this month. The last time he did this though, he decided to partake in a vice that I don’t approve of. As I’ll explain, this was a serious lapse of emotional judgment. My response was a lesson in emotional intelligence.
After doing some back breaking work, I went inside to make a quick açaí bowl. I was exhausted since I had to keep a close eye on Javier to make sure he was properly scrubbing the small stepping stones located in the tiny Grand Canyon section. Anyway, I’m inside for not more than 5 minutes when I catch the sickly whiff of cigarette smoke. There’s no mistaking it. Rage quickly starts to consume me (Does my house look like the alley behind a strip club?!?), but I take a deep breath and slowly unfurl my clenched fists (a sign of emotional intelligence). I quickly recite the mantra my yoga teacher taught me “Breath in the good air, exhale the toxic air” and bolt out the door to talk to Javier.
Let me be upfront with you. I’m busy managing two kids in high school and I often play badminton at the country club on Thursdays. I don’t have time to micromanage, but when an employee isn’t meeting my standards I’m not afraid to confront them about it. After all, I’m not paying the guy with my husband’s hard earned cash so he can fund his smoking addiction.
I crept up from behind Javier and put a hand abruptly on his shoulder. “Excuuuuuuse me! I don’t remember ‘smoking cancer sticks’ being one of the services you’re supposed to be doing for me.”
“Ah! Hola Ms. Albright, you startle me sneaking up on me.” he says in broken English. I respond, “What do you think you’re doing? I ought to fire you right now.”
Javier starts to stammer, a sign of emotional weakness. Like it’s lucha libre, I got him on the ropes and the crowd can’t wait for me to end it. “Por favor Miss Albright, but I have 3 young kids that I’m trying to put through grade school so they can live better lives.”
I go in for the proverbial kill. “Well then, your family can’t eat cigarettes, so maybe you ought to kick the smoking habit mi amigo.” You see, I did two highly emotionally intelligent things right there. I used a very graphic analogy to plead to his intellectual ignorance and I used language that even his simple intellect could comprehend.
I graduated with a business degree from a top state school, so as a business woman I know when I have the upper hand. With my acumen I came up with a clever solution right there. “Tell you what Javier, why don’t you just do my landscaping for a month for free and I’ll reconsider. Act like you’re trying to win my business back, because at this point you are.” I didn’t even wait for a response. I just turned away and started walking knowing I had won this bout of emotional intelligence.
You see, humans are afraid to lose things. Take something away that they have, and like a primal animal they’ll fight and claw their way to keep it. So when I told Javier this, he responded as I knew he would. “Oh no, please Ms. Albright, I’ll do the lawn service next month for free. I need this job for mi familia” he begged.
“You better” I said over my shoulder. I walked back inside, a sly smile spreading across my face. In what was a duel of emotional intelligence, I was the victor. But Javier didn’t walk away empty handed. He received something more valuable than a month’s pay: a masterclass in emotional intelligence from yours truly.
